Why my family is dressing like Winnie the Pooh this Thanksgiving

It's a problem as old as the Mayflower. After stuffing ourselves silly during Thanksgiving dinner like proper Americans, our guts are inevitably bursting at the seems, practically begging for some relief.

Sure, the classic unbuttoning of the jeans is an okay band-aid. But when I finally have my whole family around the table, I don't want them to worry about bursting out of their Levis. That's why my family's dress code this turkey day is simple — we're Winnie the Pooh-ing it.

On first thought, many are put off by the idea. "Kathy, don't you feel a little strange about being able to see all of your relatives' genitals? Kathy, are you sure with your new furniture? Kathy, are you sure we can trust Uncle Dale alone around the turkey?"

These are questions I receive all the time. My answer is as follows — avert your gaze, get some plastic wrap, and buy a decoy.

Besides — does Winnie the Pooh not perfectly capture the spirit of Thanksgiving? After all, he's known for stuffing his face silly with honey, loving his friends, and staying grateful despite being an adult bear who somehow manages to live inside a tree.

No, my family won't be required to wear the same iconic red t-shirt. Luckily, there are many other options that match well with my loved ones' pasty undercarriages this holiday season. A nice orange flannel, fuzzy maroon sweater, or vintage brown vest are just a few of many tasteful options.

For families who run a 5k on Thanksgiving, all the more reason to roll with Winnie! While some men may opt to tuck in order to minimize wind resistance, few factors increase endurance as much as crisp fall air blowing against your bare skin. Plus, many competitors will fall behind when they catch a glimpse of you all running together arm in arm, derrieres flexing in unison with each step.

Especially for those hosting a gathering or traveling from far away, holidays should be a time for people to relax and unwind. Loving my family means that I want there to be as few barriers to reaching that goal as possible — even if it means being banned from a grocery store or two when I inevitably have to send my husband, Rick, into town to pick up a few more last minute ingredients.

Pants don't make the mashed potatoes any creamier, the pumpkin pie any sweeter. So what purpose do they serve at your Thanksgiving table? In my view, the answer is none. If more people give the Winnie the Pooh philosophy a shot, who knows? Maybe we'd all have a little more grace.

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Photo courtesy of ForthDude via CC BY-SA 2.0