Former President Trump has been in New York court to face accusations that he overvalued various properties by a total of up to over $2 billion. While the properties include the expected — such as Trump Tower and Mar-a-Lago — there's another that's been largely overlooked by the media. Specifically, a 30-square-foot treehouse built in 1952 that resurfaced documents say the businessman valued at $100 million.
During a court appearance today, Trump was asked to explain how he reached the 9-figure number.
"Well, first of all, it's attached to a very good tree. Very good tree — oak. The best. Some people say they prefer maple, some say ash, but they're really wrong. Just oak. The king of trees," said the once-Commander in Chief.
Arborists value the tree at upwards of $10,000, leaving a mere $99,990,000 accounted for. The 2024 presidential candidate went on to talk about the construction of the treehouse itself.
"That treehouse — I'm telling you — was practically constructed by the hands of God. That's right. He was a poor carpenter, much like Jesus. Didn't even have two dimes to rub together. By the end, he had a quarter," said Trump proudly.
Judge Arthur F. Engoron asked the former reality star to get back on topic before popping an aspirin.
"So first off, you've got a ladder. That's made out of rope — really good rope, not the kind of stuff you people pick up at Home Depot — and then there's wooden pieces to step on. Perfect wooden pieces. In order to do that, you have to feed every single slat through the ropes at just the right distance or the whole thing falls apart. It would be useless," said Trump.
He then delved deeper into the treehouse's construction.
"Then once you get up there, there's walls. Four of them, pretty much. Floor, roof, door, the whole thing. There's even a couple little open-air windows in case someone wanted to yell at the squirrels. Because y'know — the squirrels are good, but sometimes you've gotta yell at them. That's the job," shrugged Trump.
The prosecution went on to point-blank ask the 77-year-old how the treehouse itself — covered in moss and rotting at every inch — could possibly be worth $99,990,000.
"Look, I'll tell ya. I'm an honest guy — the treehouse alone is just worth $98,990,000. The last million is about memories, which mean something if you ask me," said the University of Pennsylvania alum. "I have fond memories of my nanny carrying me up that tree from the ages of five to 15. I remember getting up there and thinking 'wow — it's so much easier to throw rocks at the landscaper up here.'"
Trump then appeared to become emotional, choking up at every attempt to speak.
"That's...that's when I really knew that I was better than everyone else," said the politician.
After struggling to speak, Trump instantly snapped back to his normal.
"Maybe it's worth closer to $3 billion, if you think about it." he said.
Judge Engoron then ended the trial for the day after "accidentally" snapping his gavel in half. Donald Trump will be back in court tomorrow to further elaborate.
----------------------
Photo courtesy of Benoît Prieur via public domain
Comments