There are some guidelines that the vast majority of society has implicitly agreed not to follow — like jaywalking when there's no cars coming, the five second rule lasting more than five seconds, and cans of soup not really having two servings.
Turns out, it's more than a common agreement. A new study out of the University of Wisconsin-Madison has found a strong correlation between those who eat half a can of soup at a time and being a psychopath.
"When we think of a psychopath, we tend to think of someone who skirts societal norms in exchange for a more apathetic, egotistical, and asocial mindset," began Dr. Candace Janney. "The research indicates that these traits are strong in those who open a can of soup, carefully dump half out, and put the rest back in the refrigerator."
While the study is the first of its kind, the result is not too shocking. Nearly nobody has looked in the refrigerator of a friend and found a partially full can of Progresso resting on a shelf. Why is that? Because psychopaths don't typically have friends to begin with.
"Generally speaking, people with psychopathy exhibit a high degree of manipulation, narcissism, and superficial charm. There's no desire for genuine human connection," said Dr. Janney. "This means that sometimes, psychopaths will offer others the other half of the can thinking it's what a neurotypical person considers kind or charming. In reality, as we know, this is absolutely unhinged behavior and, as far as safety goes, a major red flag."
The research was conducted by putting those diagnosed with psychopathy and a control group in individual rooms with a microwave, Campbell's soup, spoon, bowl, refrigerator, and cling wrap. While some in the control group made the somewhat odd choice of eating it cold right out of the aluminum, there was one factor that remained true across the board — normal people ate all of it.
There's a more sinister layer at play as well. Though it's a common misconception that all psychopaths are violent and dangerous, this isn't always the case. But while not all psychopaths are serial killers, all serial killers are psychopaths.
"A relatively significant number of those we studied seemed very aware that most would eat the whole thing at once, so they relished the idea of not doing so — so close, yet so far," said Dr. Jeffrey Hagel, who spearheaded the study alongside Dr. Janney. "That being said, it wasn't necessarily because they knew we were on the other side of the two-way mirror. Some looked at the soup with a disconcerting smile as they put it in the refrigerator as if they had just skinned someone alive and walked out of the room rather than giving them the comfort of a quick shot to the head."
The news may be startling, but it's ultimately a significant help when trying to determine if someone is a Jeffrey Dahmer-style asshole or just the garden variety. Further, if your loved one is sick and asks for just a partial can of chicken noodle, either call an ambulance immediately or run far, far away — in either case, something's very wrong.
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Photo courtesy of Robert Couse-Baker via CC BY 2.0
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