After years of annual reports stating that firearms are the leading cause of childhood death in the United States, researchers have found a solution to the issue that has eluded politicians and prayer warriors alike — locking kids safely away in a cabinet.
“There’s really no reason for children to be out when not in use, so we suggest that the tots be stowed away until needed,” began Mark Lovell, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania. “It’s advisable to take them out for occasional cleaning, but otherwise, it’s best they stay put unless being utilized for something absolutely necessary, such as a Christmas card photo.”
Even when secured, the analysis found that it’s crucial to keep the children pointed in a safe direction.
“There’s never a reason for a youngster to be pointed outward unless they’re supposed to be talking — verbal bullets, if you will,” said fellow professor and co-author Dean Plunk. “Juveniles should face the back of the cabinet unless they will speak safely. This means only saying phrases like ‘I love you unconditionally’ or ‘I know it’s my birthday, but I’d like to stay in here. You guys should head to the bar!’”
Further, the key or combination should only be accessible to the owner of the little ankle-biters.
“You don’t want to risk others having the ability to use your kid in potentially dangerous, harmful ways. You may think your brother or friend knows what they’re doing, but it’s not worth the possibility that your offspring will be brought into a school,” shared Professor Lovell. “The most realistic way to prevent children dying in school shootings is to make sure children aren’t able to enter the premises to begin with.”
While it may be tempting, the study also clarified that a car trunk is no replacement for a proper safe or cupboard when it comes to the nation’s young.
-----------------------
Photo courtesy of gee via CC BY 2.0
Comments