Television paused on May 2 as members of the Writers Guild of America went on strike. Primarily caused by lack of reasonable payment from streaming services, smaller and overworked writers' rooms and concerns over AI generated writing, thousands of screenwriters have begun a potentially months-long standoff between themselves and studio executives.
Now, just a week into the strike, traditional networks and streaming services alike are starting to see the cracks — and no one has seen it more than the executives themselves. While they wouldn't blink an eye about replacing human writers with artificially generated, low cost and even lower quality scripts, there's one area where AI can't help them — having personalized cards written for their families.
"What, am I supposed to remember how old my kids are now? I don't see how that helps the bottom line. If it doesn't make me money, it's pretty irrelevant, don't you think?" said Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos. "I don't know how my children are supposed to know I'm proud of them if I don't have a 'Stranger Things' writer put it in a birthday card for me. I had to write one for my daughter yesterday — I just put that I'm glad she's somewhere within the target age range for 'Beef.'"
The strike has thrown a wrench into familial outsourcing in more areas than just birthday cards — marriages are also on the line. While AI can learn about thousands of topics, there's no way for the technology to fully understand a couple's deep love forged through time, growth and precious memories.
"Gosh, let me think. P-Paula? Maybe Penny? Oh, it's Pam? Huh. I'm sure she's a great girl," said Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav about his wife of roughly 36 years. "My assistant reminded me that our anniversary was coming up, so I had them run out and get her one of those funny cards that make fart noises to the 'Star Wars' theme song and a $15 Office Depot gift card."
There's no telling how long the strike will go on. Though writers are likely to stand their ground, it's rare that the right thing happens without needing to pull some teeth or, on special occasions, break kneecaps. Yet, it's just a matter of time — if moms around the United States are made to go too long without new episodes of Jimmy Fallon — two months, give or take two months — they will riot and they will not quit until they get what their fix back.
Photo courtesy of Chris Long via CC BY 2.0
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