Whether it's easy to admit or not, everyone needs their safety blankets. For some, it may be a cozy (possibly stiff) drink, an old stuffed animal, or yet another rewatch of the "Fast and Furious" franchise. However, some comforts create issues of their own. This is the case in Grapevine, Texas, where a gun has had to confront its owner — peacefully.
"I really appreciate that you want me around so much, but I feel like you're using me as arm candy instead of cherishing my true purpose," shared the MCX-SPEAR rifle. "I know how powerful I can be, but it seems like you only respect that when you're trying to show me off at the grocery store."
The gun's owner, Mike Garrity, has been a fanatic from a young age. However, in more recent years, his firearm interest has become much less rooted in hunting and home protection. Now, it's more a matter of misguided self-esteem bumping via dress up.
"Look, I understand why you want to look and feel like Rambo. He's a badass. The thing is, he was a Green Beret in the Vietnam War. You work a desk job and only get your hands dirty when you're doing yard work," explained the gun. "Plus, once he was done serving, he fought corrupt police officers and drug cartels. You defend crooked cops online until your hands get carpel tunnel. Not to mention how you always complain about Mexico until you're snorting a line in your crusty bathroom."
At this point, Garrity felt something that his latest Facebook rant wasn't — seen.
"It's not that I don't want to take care of you. What kind of owner would I be if I locked you up in a cabinet? That's a waste of life. Sure, life is for me to take, but still," sniffled the white collar worker. "Who knows when a shooting could happen? That violent criminal will see you harnessed to my back at the community park and know that they better not mess with me."
Clearly rooted in something well beyond what even a military-grade weapon can handle, the session came to a close without resolution. However, Garrity did show affection for the XM7 variant by cleaning it on an outdoor table at McDonald's.
---------------------------
Photo courtesy of Jty33 via CC BY-SA 3.0
Comentários