Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is making headlines after revealing that a worm has eaten part of his brain. A claim nobody doubted for a second, it became even more evident when the independent presidential candidate posted that he could "eat five more brain worms and still beat President Trump and President Biden in a debate."
Now, he's taking it to the next level. While speaking to The Slug Report late Thursday morning, Kennedy stated that the presidency should go to whoever can eat the most worms.
"If there's one thing I hate about both major parties, it's that they just yap yap yap. What happened to getting down in the dirt?" began Kennedy. "I say we find a playground on a rainy morning, scoop some worms into a bucket, and find out who the real top dog is."
The goal of the competition would not be to test bravery. Rather, it's more akin to the idea that in order to be a sommelier (president of the United States), one must taste many different styles and regions of wine (worms from the mud).
"I don't give a damn whether you're red or blue if you can't even tell me whether you prefer the taste of flatworms or roundworms," stated the D.C. native, who has become an expert on the options available near the White House since beginning his training as a child.
"When my dad served as U.S. attorney general, he'd sometimes bring me to work with him. I'd occasionally be in his office, but I'd usually just run around outside," reminisced the candidate. "That's what really led me to become a lawyer and enter politics — not only was I hearing about the Justice Department, but I was getting mouth-on experience with the local wormholes as well."
Now 70 years old, RFK Jr. believes he can eat enough worms to make a real run at the presidency.
"Biden and Trump are each eating two, three worms max — and good luck getting them to pick 'em up. Me? If I skip breakfast, I'm good for at least a hundo," said the anti-vaccine activist.
Neither major party candidate has responded to the proposal. That being said, it doesn't matter which does so first — RFK Jr. is already the early bird.
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Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore via CC BY-SA 3.0
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