Report: President Biden to spend Election Day in recliner eating pints of ice cream, 'giddily' kicking feet under blanket

Tomorrow is sure to be a bittersweet day for President Joe Biden, who notably halted his own run for a second term in order to pass the torch to Vice President Kamala Harris' younger, less shaky hands.

In fact, the 46th leader of the United States reportedly plans to usher in his retirement very similarly to how he's likely to spend it — sitting in a recliner eating pints of ice cream while kicking his feet giddily under a warm blanket.

"There's good parts and there's bad parts — no doubt!" shared Biden, who will remain in office until Inauguration Day on Jan. 20. "The reality is, when I began my career of service to this beautiful country, I knew a time like this was in the cards. As far as I'm concerned, it's all part of my duty to the United States of America, as well as Ben and — you know it — Jerry."

As Kamala Harris and Donald Trump wind down the campaigns that saw them each traverse all around the nation, the president will be juggling a hectic schedule of his own.

"Come 6 a.m., you'll find me kicking back and cozied up to a cold one," expressed Biden, referring to a pint of Chunky Monkey. "After that, I'll see about some Americone Dream from that funny four-eyed fella or a bit of Chocolatey Love A-fair in honor of my main man, Barack."

While presidential duties halt for nothing, the 81-year-old isn't concerned about how his plans could interfere with the work of the highest office in the land.

"This is my 12th year in the White House, Jack. I've got a pretty good idea of how to keep things running. Plus, Jill can just do it," said Biden of his wife.

The soon-to-be former president has plenty on his plate in preparation for tomorrow — managing the United States' role in the Israel-Palestine conflict, keeping up-to-date with Russia and North Korea's increasingly concerning partnership, and most importantly — personally ensuring his aides stock up on Churn Out the Vote before too many eager voters snatch it all up.

"I'll keep my ear to the ground and my tongue to the spoon," concluded Biden in a promise to the American people.

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Photo courtesy of public domain via the White House