Saturday morning is a time often associated with peace, rest, and relaxation. But while many go to bed on Friday looking forward to sleeping in after a long week of work, others hit the hay with another expectation — to wake up bright and early to get started on yard upkeep. Ideally, with the loudest tools available.
This is the case with Missouri's Jim Boyer. As neighbors awoke at approximately 6:30 a.m. to the noise of the Rolla resident's lawn mower starting, it was difficult not to take the act personally.
Yet, the truth of the matter is that Boyer had no intention of bothering anyone. In fact, there was one simple goal — to justify having a beer well before the sun reached its peak.
"If someone has a beer before noon on any given day, people might start to get concerned. That being said, there are some things you can do to get around that. Since I'm not going to a tailgate or a bottomless mimosa brunch, mowing it is. Plus, there's nothing better than a cold Miller when you've been hard at work with the sun beating down on ya," explained Boyer, not accounting for the fact that it was far too early for heat to be an issue.
A DMV worker by day, sitting in a car while teenagers attempt to earn their licenses has more than shown Boyer how operating a vehicle without a keen sense of awareness can prompt issues. In his book, this goes out the window as long as one stays on their own grass.
"Sure, I'm driving this thing with a lethal blade attached to it with a Busch Light in my dominant hand, but I'm only going about five miles per hour. If I do run over something, you can go ahead and believe it's intentional. Well, except for that chipmunk the other week, but I blame the rodent for that one." rationalized the 57-year-old.
This reasoning may not be enough to ease the frustrations of Boyer's neighbors, who generally at least wait until the morning dew has dried before getting to work on their own property. Even so, the longtime inhabitant of the 20,000-person town isn't concerned.
"There are certain norms you've gotta upkeep in a proper Midwestern community. If you're invited to someone's home, you bring a bottle of wine. If there's a potluck, you bring food. And if there's an apology in order, you offer the offended individual a beer. If I need to patch things up, my garage refrigerator is more than set," assured Boyer.
As of 7:30 a.m., Boyer had finished up on his one-acre yard and was polishing off his second beer — his last until about eight, when he'd find some weeds that need whacking.
--------------------------------------------
Photo courtesy of Lars Plougmann via CC BY-SA 2.0
Comments