It's been a tough time for Red Lobster. As loyal customers appear out of thin air online to angrily complain about closing locations, celebrities have been trying to help by ordering the whole menu or even buying the contents of an entire restaurant. Yet, this hasn't stopped the seafood chain from facing the closure of over 100 additional establishments.
Now, a potential fix. Say goodbye to "Lobster your way" and hello to "Lobster the Red Lobster way" — a.k.a. "Scooped from the dumpster out back."
"We here at Red Lobster need to apologize because, as I now realize, we weren't offering absolutely everything we could to our customers," began CEO Jonathan Tibus. "We've been hanging our hats on Crabfest all this time without ever thinking to smell the pungent odor that's been right in front of us."
The new option will do more than save pennies — it could help save the environment.
"There's been an astronomical amount of food waste coming from our restaurants. As a rule, seafood was thrown out after a certain amount of time without question, which just doesn't make sense. Looking back, I mean, duh!" chuckled Tibus. "Now, the Red Lobster philosophy dictates that our products should only be thrown out when nobody is willing to buy them anymore."
This is already paying dividends, with crab and lobster that would otherwise go uneaten now being sold even days later than the previous guidelines allowed.
Yet, some employees of the chain have their reservations about the new system.
"It's not that I have a problem with other people ordering dumpster meals — I'm just concerned that there won't be enough left in there after my shift for me to be able to have dinner," said one anonymous worker. "I used to be careful about eating from the garbage because they'd fire me before letting me have a free $40 meal that'll just go to the landfill anyway. Now, I'm careful because the crab legs thrown in there after last night's shift represent $3000 in potential profit."
The long-term effect of the offering is yet to be seen, but as far as Red Lobster's future, it would be no shock to see the deal have an unexpectedly explosive impact.
-----------------------
Photo courtesy of Mike Mozart via CC BY 2.0
Comments