An Ohio lawyer has been suspended after throwing a Pringles can filled with feces onto the parking lot of a crime victim advocacy center. He explained that there wasn't any particular reason he threw it there, but "got a kick" out of imagining people's faces when they saw what he did.
Not surprisingly, a guy who shits in Pringles cans and throws them out the window for fun has the same thought process as Henry Kissinger.
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NFL star Von Miller has been accused of assaulting his pregnant girlfriend.
In response, the NFL says that Miller will receive a guaranteed spot in this season's Pro Bowl.
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After a trip to Israel, X (Twitter) owner Elon Musk said that his endorsement of an antisemitic tweet was the "worst and dumbest I've done."
Musk followed up by saying "But if there's one thing I can promise, it's that it won't get any smarter."
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A gag order that was previously lifted on Donald Trump has been reinstated due to frequently disparaging court personnel during his New York trial. This, for an example, has resulted in law clerk Allison Greenfield receiving dozens of antisemitic calls and messages on her personal phone every day.
Trump was previously fined twice for violating the gag order. Hopefully it doesn't happen, but if he violates it a third time, they're going to throw in a free t-shirt that says "My mouth costed me five figures and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."
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Puerto Rico's National Parks Service is attempting to remove 200 stray cats from 75 acres surrounding a fortress at the San Juan National Historic Site.
In related news, dozens of people have been found dead near the San Juan National Historic Site.
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Sebastian Stan will be playing a young Donald Trump in an upcoming movie about the Trump real estate empire during the 70s and 80s.
Said Stan, "The hardest part to get down is acting like I have a father who doesn't love me."
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Photo courtesy of David Shankbone via CC BY-SA 3.0
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