The Green Bay Packers entered a new era on March 15. During an appearance on the Pat McAfee Show, longtime quarterback Aaron Rodgers stated his intention to play for the New York Jets for the 2023 season. This followed reports that the Packers are ready to move on to 2020 first round pick Jordan Love.
If there’s one substance associated with Packer fans through good, bad and neutral, it’s cheese. Now, when cheese is needed more than ever, people are clinging to it like an edible buoy floating over treacherous waters.
“I turned on the Pat McAfee Show at noon and was in the dairy section by 12:30,” said Packers owner Greg Kilovsky. “I ate a block of sharp cheddar like it was a candy bar, but not in the fun way I’m used to. It was more like when there’s that kind of cheese in your refrigerator you really want, but first, you have to get rid of the old five, six day old stuff.”
Kilovsky is one of many who have been clinging to tradition following the difficult news. Others, like Ashwaubenon local Aidy Meir, are trying to help themselves move on by turning their attention to more exotic, exciting cheeses.
“I’m going to be honest with you — I’m going off the rails,” Meir told The Slug Report. “I’ve only really bought the three main kinds of cheese since 2005. Just orange, white and mixed. I did have a brush with gouda after the 2014 NFC Championship, but that’s it.”
Now, less than two hours after the news, Meir has abandoned her values.
“Asiago. Muenster. Havarti. I bought blue cheese. What am I supposed to do with myself now? Blue cheese is for Bills fans and people who think they’re special for eating mold. I’m just so lost,” said Meir.
Some Packer fans are trying to cling to hope. Much like when Rodgers took over for Brett Favre, Jordan Love will bring new, youthful leadership to the offense. For all anyone knows, he could be the third straight Hall of Fame quarterback to call Lambeau home. This tall order prompted season ticket holder Ron Weigl to go on a mission.
“I wanted to find a cheese that would pay respect to Aaron while also welcoming Jordan to his new role,” said Weigl. “I thought about it for a long time. You want something young, but established. Fresh, but strong. I didn’t know what to do with that, so I ate about a pound of cheese curds instead. They’re resilient, beloved by many and also what I was already planning on eating for dinner anyway.”
Today marks a period of transition for Green Bay that not many would be sad to miss. With any luck, Packer fans will be able to avoid the likely rough patch by embracing the cheese coma to come.
Photo courtesy of All-Pro Reels via Wikimedia
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