President Biden gave the State of the Union address last night, speaking with an energy and vigor many voters worried he was no longer capable of.
In other news, someone found a mysterious white powder in the White House again.
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George Santos has announced he'll be running for New York's 1st Congressional District, a shocking development after he was expelled from his position in December and claimed he wouldn't be running for political office again.
I'm surprised, but he's clearly qualified — since he was voted out three months ago, Santos says he has been an elementary school teacher, miner, and CEO.
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Some fans at the Chiefs-Dolphins playoff game in January, one of the coldest on record, ended up having amputations after getting frostbite.
It's awful, but to be fair, they did all say "I'd give an arm and a leg for them to win this game."
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Nikki Haley has dropped out of the presidential race. While she had little chance at winning the nomination, her speech made ripples through the media, especially when she passed on endorsing Donald Trump.
Of course her speech was good — she probably had to write 20 versions over the course of her campaign.
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The Department of Defense has concluded that there is no evidence of extraterrestrials after reviewing 80 years of government probes into alleged UFO sightings.
I'd trust the Department of Defense saying there's no aliens as much as I would've trusted Charles Manson to clean my room while I'm sleeping.
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Former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson has agreed to fight 27-year-old Youtuber-turned-boxer Jake Paul on Netflix in July.
It's likely to be a difficult fight given that the boxing great is 58 years old, but he won't need a whole lot of arm strength and endurance to bite someone's ear off.
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Photo courtesy of Super Festivals via CC BY 2.0
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