Today marks Jimmy Carter's 100th birthday, clearly establishing him as the oldest living former president in the nation's history. In an exclusive interview with The Slug Report, the newly-ordained centenarian shared his personal approach to reaching advanced age — "guts, peanuts, and plenty of smut."
"Many people seem to credit my long life to humble beginnings and a certain calming grace. That may be true to a point, but I'd say it's much more about Grace's body," explained Carter. "If I don't take several minutes to an hour each day to appreciate that, I've got nothin'."
Still, it takes more than an alluring figure to keep a heart ticking for 1200 months, a feat that isn't lost on the prior White House resident.
"Being a peanut farmer certainly shaped a large part of where I'm at today," said the longterm hospice resident. "You might say that, back in the day, I was literally working for peanuts. The snag is, I'd go and trade those peanuts in for a nudie mag down at the five and dime."
From there, Carter's world exploded with a bang.
"I always knew I loved a Georgia peach, but once I was able to show a little cash for all of that grueling work tending to the land, I gained a true appreciation for Georgia's peach," quipped Carter, referring to the centerfold in an October 1954 issue of "Playboy."
Though the issue referred to conveniently happens to have been released during peak nut harvesting season, the former president has never been turned off by mere inconvenience — an attitude he carried with him through the 1976 election.
"I went into that race pretty green, comparatively — nobody thought I would win the Democratic nomination, let alone the presidency. Clearly, those folks underestimated the power of a steady hand gained in the pasture and the mental clarity invoked by several solitary minutes backstage at the great Walnut Street Theater," said Carter, referring to the Philadelphia venue in which he debated then-incumbent Gerald Ford.
Following his stint in the Oval Office, the Plains native went on to serve others by encouraging peace and building shelters, garnering him the Medal of Freedom, a Nobel Peace Prize, and perhaps his life's crowning achievement — three Grammys for "Best Spoken Word Album."
"I wouldn't say my life's been easy, but when I reminisce, I certainly can't help but swell both in heart and appendage," noted Carter. "If I could ask the American people for one birthday wish, it would be that the blood of this great nation continues to flow and rise, no matter how often or how thoroughly adversaries consider my fellow patriots to be beat."
The former president then excused himself for "an appointment with a big ol' scoop of peanut butter ice cream and [his] trusty iPod Touch" with a gentle nod and a kind, knowing wink.
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Photo courtesy of Ansel Adams via public domain
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