NFL center Jason Kelce said a tearful goodbye as he announced his retirement after a 13-year career with the Philadelphia Eagles.
While the emotional speech detailed everything the future Hall of Famer will miss about his time in the league, following the press conference, Kelce made it clear that there's one thing he will not miss by throwing all he owns in a blazing fire — wearing clothes.
"You guys know me. It didn't matter if it was a sweltering preseason game or the Super Bowl on a freezing February day — I stepped out in sweatpants, flip-flops, and whatever covering I could throw on my torso to not be mistaken for a grizzly bear," said Kelce. "Now that the only media appearance I need to make is on a podcast from the neck up, I see no reason to dress below that. It just makes sense to me."
He followed through by starting a gasoline and polyester-fueled bonfire while enjoying a full keg in his Haverford, PA yard. His wife, Kylie Kelce, looked on through a living room window.
"Do I love that all of our family photos from now on will feature my naked husband? No, but also, hell yeah. I'm gonna need him to cover up around the kids, but otherwise..." said Kelce, concluding her thought with a sly shrug.
Kylie will get what she asked for. The Super Bowl champion notably did not set any of his underwear ablaze, most likely because he did not own any to begin with. However, the All-Pro did keep one article of clothing — a pair of old athletic shorts.
"These ol' things have been everywhere with me, so they can keep hangin'. The playoff run in 2017, draft night, my first college game...these shorts saw me grow from a man who only travels with one pair of pants to a man who travels with one pair of pants and a small toiletry bag," reminisced the Eagles great.
Retired life could go many ways for one of the greatest offensive linemen of all time. Whether he pivots to the broadcast booth or enjoys a fulfilling life in the Philadelphia suburbs, one thing is certain — next time Jason Kelce dresses up, he'll be wearing a gold jacket.
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Photo courtesy of All-Pro Reels via CC BY-SA 2.0
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