It has been a draining week for Elmo. First, he was attacked by Larry David live on national television, which the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" creator-star said he'd "do again." Then, the Muppet accidentally ended up working a makeshift suicide hotline shift after asking people how they were doing on Twitter.
Now, all of Sesame Street is on guard after Elmo reported a bomb threat he received at his home.
"Elmo was just talking to Dorothy when the phone rang," said Elmo, referring to his beloved goldfish. "When Elmo picked it up, a very irritated man told me to 'watch my back' and that he was going to blow Sesame Street to smithereens! Now Elmo feels scared."
Elmo went on to note that the caller ended the threat by complaining about getting to Sesame Street in "all of this traffic," implying that the bomber would grow even more frustrated by the time they got to the site.
"No sane person makes a bomb threat, sure. But I only know of one person who would make a bomb threat, then complain about how inconvenient it'll be to get to the location of the bombing," said NYPD's Chief Jeffrey Maddrey. "The investigation is still underway, but it is clear that Larry David is heavily tied to the incident."
Citizens of Sesame Street are doing their best to prepare for a potential explosion. But after 55 years in the stunningly peaceful neighborhood, few seem to know what they're doing.
"Me put cookies in the walls. Me put cookies under the floor. Me put cookies on the roof. All that can protect Cookie Monster is cookies. Cookies cookies cookies," said Cookie Monster as he rocked back and forth in a corner while rapidly eating from one of 40 five gallon buckets.
Grover is in a slightly better position, as the ability to turn into Super Grover should allow him to fly away. Even so, the smoke-plumed air would make for incredibly dangerous conditions, potentially creating an even worse scenario for the self-described "lovable, cute, and furry" Muppet than if he stayed put.
Police believe that the bomber would need help navigating Sesame Street, meaning that they'd need at least one inside source. Given that Larry David is likely to be the perpetrator, concerned residents have pointed to one inhabitant as a near-certain accessory — Oscar the Grouch.
"Everyone on Sesame Street is always talking about what they love — pretty colors, pets, each other — yuck. Larry David is the only one who seems to see life the same way as me. I live in a trash can. So what? It's my choice, isn't it? Oh, please," Oscar reportedly scoffed during a conversation with Big Bird just days ago.
The threat indicated that the bombing would occur around 8pm tonight. However, the nature of the suspect has led police to decide that they'll stay for at least the next few weeks in case the bomber ends up deciding he needs to muster up more energy to go out.
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Photo courtesy of Sesame Street
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