Taenia solium. Tapeworm. Parasitic hunger rope. All words for what may enter one's body if they're too impatient to wait five more minutes for a pork chop. But despite what the public has been led to believe by up and coming sources such as the CDC and Mayo Clinic, it's not all bad — and not just because they can help shed the last 10 pounds. After spending some time bonding with their carrier's intestines, the worms may actually become man's true best friend. Here's how to know.
1. The diarrhea is convenient.
Diarrhea is one of the main symptoms of a tapeworm infection. With that, it's an undeniable truth that diarrhea isn't all bad with a bit of foresight. If your tapeworm gave you diarrhea just in time to call out of a stressful meeting or presentation, that deserves a big thumb's up.
2. They like the same snacks.
One of the toughest conversations friends often have is what to order for dinner. If your tapeworm is all for it whether it's Domino's or chicken lo mein, that's a green flag. That being said, be careful about foods involving pork. While some tapeworms may value the idea of extra company, others might worry that you're trying to replace them.
3. You're losing weight.
It's likely the most well known symptom, and that's for good reason — your tapeworm buddy wants to make sure you stay trim for years to come. After all, the longer you're around, the longer they can keep hanging out with and inside of you. Good lookin' out!
4. You've met their family.
These are some of the most special friendships because they can only happen if a person swallows tapeworm eggs. This introduces larval cysts, which are happy to cozy into your internal organs. You'll be more likely to meet tapeworm children if living with someone who already has one of the slippery ribbon-like creatures, which means the tapeworm's family is likely to also meet your own.
5. They encourage you to go to the doctor.
Like all friends, sometimes tapeworms can be a little overwhelming. Nobody wants to experience nausea and seizures at the same time, but for some, it may be medically necessary. If it weren't for larval cysts occupying the brain, lungs and/or heart, some people would never go to the doctor and learn that they need to watch their blood pressure.
"Tapeworm proglottids" by Nathan Reading is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.
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