The Secret Service is keeping an eye on Elon Musk following a post implicitly encouraging an assassination attempt against Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. Musk has since deleted the statement, brushing it off as a "joke that didn't land."
Don't be too sad if you missed out — the X owner is sure to provide even bigger future laughs through posts including "I think all puppies should be murdered with flamethrowers" and "I've assembled a team to hide bombs in schools all around the nation. Job complete!"
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An eight-year-old girl stole her family's car and was discovered by police drinking a Frappuccino at a Target 11 miles away after being reported missing.
While it may shock some to think a young child could manage to make it all the way to Target on their own, it will not come as a surprise to those who have ever waited in the store's self-checkout line.
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Sean "Diddy" Combs has plead not guilty to racketeering conspiracy and sex trafficking despite many contradictory, seemingly credible reports.
When asked why a thousand bottles of baby oil and other lubricants were discovered in his home if he's not involved in sex trafficking, the rapper replied "Someone gifted me a lifetime supply in the hopes that I'll someday care to yank my head out of my 'cavernous, unwashed' asshole. That day has not yet arrived."
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Amazon is receiving some pushback after announcing that employees must return to working in-office five days per week.
In light of this, much of the corporation's staff is responding much like an Amazon package — promising to be there in 24 hours, only to seemingly say "Fuck you" and fall off the face of the planet.
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The Washington Post released an article stating that the frequency of Donald Trump's golf outings has concerned the Secret Service since long before the recent Mar-a-Lago scare. This goes back to Trump winning the presidency in 2016, when agents presented long-range images of the former reality star on various courses to showcase how the open nature of the hobby creates creates major safety risks.
In the name of "not worrying his supporters even more" about further attacks, Trump plans to reduce visibility with hobbies such as urban hang gliding and hot air ballooning. Additionally, to reduce fall risk, he will fly no higher than 40 feet above the street.
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A New York woman is challenging a longterm rule in the Miss America and Miss World competitions stating that mothers cannot enter the beauty pageants.
Says the current rule, "Once a woman gives birth, she gives up the ability to be considered sexy. However, if the baby is a girl, wait about four years and the kid can give it a shot."
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Photo courtesy of HOTSPOTATL via CC BY 3.0
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