top of page
Writer's pictureMackenzie Moore

"Going to Chicago is just asking to be shot," says man who insists on carrying gun at all times


The most dangerous city in the United States is certain to get some flack from the rest of the country. Whether it's a matter of safety walking alone, carjacking, or any number of violent crimes, it's understandable that many would want to avoid that particular vacation destination.


Luckily for Chicago, it doesn't crack the top 15. That is, of course, unless you ask Jim Babson, who "knows all about these things."


"My daughter wanted to drive down there for a few days during spring break. Begged me to go see the art museum 'n crap. All I said was 'baby, if you go down there, you're gonna get shot and we can't afford a funeral. That put an end to that," chuckled the father of one.


Babson, who is an adamant supporter of concealed carry, considers himself an expert on all things both gun and gun crime. This is in addition to his day job as a trusted mechanic in his hometown of Medford, WI.


"As crazy as it sounds, there are people out there who have an issue with me having a gun at all times. If you ask me, they're crazy for not having one," says Babson. "It's only there in case I see something suspicious. The police can't always be there, so it's on me as a good patriot to help cover all of their bases. So as you can imagine, it feels ridiculous to see all of these libs have an issue with me doing something as simple as carrying a Desert Eagle at the pharmacy — the safety is off so I can help you faster!"


The 52-year-old's good intentions appear to be very special — in fact, Babson seems to believe he's the only person who has them.


"You'll never see me in Chiraq. Windy City? Good luck avoiding a stray bullet. Willis Tower? Perfect for snipers. Wrigley Field? Bunch of men wearing the same color walking around with baseball bats — a gang if I've ever heard of one. Navy Pier? Guarantee there's been at least one dead body in that water. Scrap the whole thing."


Babson talks a big game, but much like with his other side hobby as a self-taught virologist, he's "got some ideas."


"After everything is leveled, they've gotta add a gas station on just about every corner. Then you'll wanna have plenty of bars and, of course, as many gun shops as possible. Assuming at least one of those places also serves food, it's all anyone needs," stated the lifestyle connoisseur.


When faced with the point that putting gun shops next to bars is a perfect recipe for skyrocketing the same needless violence he's criticizing Chicago for, he stated that people would only be allowed into buildings if they looked "safe." Babson says this would be determined by how "some people just have that look about them."


When asked to elaborate, Babson got straight to the point — he said "no."


While Chicago is far too dangerous for the mildly traveled man, he says he looks forward to visiting cities like St. Louis, Memphis, Little Rock, and Cleveland in the near future.



Photo courtesy of Marie Miller via CC BY-SA 4.0




Comments


bottom of page