It’s March, which means that the annual Girl Scout cookie war has begun. For families, it’s the time of year to pledge their allegiance and monthly savings to ultimately earn their cookie plug the world’s most expensive keychain. As for the Girl Scouts themselves, they have to be on their absolute A game, doing their darndest to guilt and manipulate people using a sweet smile and pigtails.
Between all of the chaos, a new Girl Scouts offering has gone under the radar — a cookie that tastes like a tuna melt (on purpose).
“Girl Scouts of the USA is proud to announce that our cookies are now dessert and a meal. Much like our organization, tuna melts are quintessentially American. Knowing this, it was a no-brainer to find a way to add them to the 2023 lineup! With Tuna Tasties, patrons will be able to eat cookies for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” Girl Scouts of the USA said in an official announcement.
The introduction comes as a bit of a surprise. After all, the 111-year-old organization also just introduced Raspberry Rallies, crispy raspberry cookies dipped in chocolate. Still, it makes sense in that the two new offerings don’t contradict each other in any way. Nobody has ever said “Hmmm, I’m really craving raspberries with chocolate fondue. Time for me to go get a tuna melt!”
It may be hard for some to imagine how a tuna melt flavored cookie would taste. Brianna Olson, leader of southwestern Wisconsin’s Troop 7045, provided some insight.
“When you think of a tuna melt, you probably think mayo, tuna, cheese, celery, onion and maybe some other odds and ends. Tuna Tasties are all of those flavors tightly packed into a shortbread cookie,” explained Olson.
Everyone knows that a green box means Thin Mints, purple means Samoas and red means Tagalongs. With many colors already taken by more established offerings, it seems that it would be difficult to find a new shade that’s just as eye-catching and appealing as its counterparts.
“The box is sort of a milky puke brown,” said Girl Scouts of the USA CEO Bonnie Barczykowski. “The rainbow has already been covered, pushing our design team to innovate. After blending several different tuna melts from establishments surrounding our New York City headquarters, we had our color.”
People who have already purchased Girl Scout cookies this year may not have noticed Tuna Tasties on the table, but Barczykowski says there’s a reason for this.
“We want the girls to have fun, but we also want to teach them some basic business tactics,” began Barczykowski. “There might not be a ton of people interested in a fish flavored cookie outside of a grocery store or even a college campus depending on the time of day. But take some Tuna Tasties down to the shipyard or under a bridge late at night and they’ll be cleaned out in no time.”
If Barczykowski’s word is to be trusted one month strong into her new position, the cookies are sure to be a hot commodity for years to come. People who are interested in getting their hands on one of the tuna-forward treats should snatch up their supply now before boxes are resold on eBay for $500.
Photo courtesy of Marit & Toomas Hinnosaar via Creative Commons
コメント