March Madness kicked off today, launching competitions in thousands of offices to see which employee has the best bracket. While some take pride in showing off their college basketball acumen, others are being ribbed for their lack thereof – or in the case of Ruth Ingles, even fired.
the 59-year-old had worked in an administrative role for Turner Engineering for the last 30 years and was just five more from retirement. Now, her neglect of basketball knowledge means she'll be lucky to retire at all.
"My dad hired her because she knew how to work the phones and organize spreadsheets or whatever. Unfortunately, she doesn't know jack about hoops," said Ingles' 26-year-old boss of under a year, Mason Turner. "She supposedly served the company well for many years, but I can't give a paycheck to someone who probably doesn't even know who Will Maxwell is," concluded Turner, referencing Dayton's freshman bench rider who had exactly three minutes of playing time this season.
The offense — a word Ingles potentially does not know — occurred at the conclusion of the tournament's first game, an upset loss which saw Duquesne overtake BYU by a score of 71-67. Unfortunately for the Tennessee resident, she banked on the wrong outcome.
"I didn't realize this was so important. I've never even filled out a bracket before — I only picked BYU because I've heard of it. Heck, I'm Catholic, not Mormon. If anything, I should be praised for choosing those young men despite the lack of safety their souls are experiencing in the Lord's eyes," said Ingles, who would've likely picked Duquesne had she done a little research to learn that it's a Catholic university, but would've had to disregard the school being located in the godless land of Pittsburgh.
Immediately after the game ended, the multi-time Employee of the Month winner returned to her desk to find all of her belongings in a cardboard box.
"I stepped away to go to the bathroom, which takes a while because the building only has a men's room and the nearest gas station is a couple blocks away. When I got back, it was like they packed up my whole life. All of those years were trashed — just like the harassment reports I was told to shred after my old boss' son took over," cried Ingles.
Ingles does not expect to take legal action, primarily because her salary never broke $40k. Luckily, the loss of her job will give her plenty of time to study up on college basketball before attempting to break back into the job market.
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Photo courtesy of public domain
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