The price of eggs has soared the last year, increasing over 70%. While most were concerned about the spread of the avian flu or how the higher price point would affect their pocketbook, few considered the far more important issue — how the new rate is impacting the Easter Bunny's bottom line. Now, less than a week until the holiday, the icon says this year will have to look a little different.
"It's something you never want to do. You want to provide — bring light, joy, whatever helps the kids and their families," said the Easter Bunny in a statement to The Slug Report. "For centuries, a key part of that has been eggs. It's always been about the eggs. It will always be about the eggs."
Yet, even the historic figure's magic whiskers can't fix the United States economy.
"I'm sure everyone's felt the price tag going up, and I'm no exception. My understanding is that children prefer to eat two, three dozen eggs per day. Now, I'm scrambling — which is ironic, I know — just to make sure every kid ends up with six eggs in their basket," said the Easter Bunny.
Embarrassingly for scientists who claim otherwise, the Easter Bunny is able to lay their own eggs. Still, it's not enough to curb the issue.
"There's that old saying — 'Don't get high on your own supply.' I almost never eat my own eggs. It feels a little weird because theoretically, they could've become my children," said the ancient animal. "But I still need to eat eggs to make eggs. I've reduced from 15 eggs per meal to five, which has cut back my own production just as much. Which, as you can imagine, is quite hard on my self-esteem as well."
That doesn't mean all hope is gone for Easter Sunday. Much like the melted snow and mud of April ushers in the growth and beauty of May, the holiday fixture wants everyone to look ahead to brighter days.
"Maybe this year, kids won't get enough free eggs to really make a day of it. Maybe it would be possible if they used a fancy cooking method for each one, but they're really best enjoyed fresh from my basket," noted the bunny. "The point is, Easter can still be the best holiday. All it takes is a little hope, a little spirit and a willingness to steal from birds."
Those who celebrate are sure to follow the magical fuzzy creature's advice, as is only logical. Yet, there's one more thing that's important to remember — everyone wants an egg in these trying times. But if everyone was able to sit around eating eggs all the time, nothing would get done. Perhaps, if it feels right, take this peaceful holiday as a cue to get to work.
Photo courtesy of Superbass via CC BY-SA 4.0
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