In a time when the country is as divided as ever, many Americans feel that media has become hypersexualized. Whether the danger at hand is bikini-clad women, hot and heavy make out scenes or even — look out — missionary sex, it's certainly nothing that the older generation today ever saw or even would've wanted to see if given the chance in their youth.
Now, some Floridians are calling for a cultural reset. In an open letter addressed to Walt Disney World Resort president Jeff Vahle sent last week, concerned citizens demanded he put the kibosh on all of the ankle flashing. "Mr. Vahle, you have blood on your hands. This very second, thousands of people are being assaulted at Disney World on your watch," began the carefully constructed letter. "Their bodies may not be bloodied and bruised, but their minds and spirits will have been murdered dead by day's end."
Despite the strong wording, those who believe Disney princesses should hide their filthy ankles don't want any drastic measures to be taken.
"We understand that it wouldn't be easy enough to make longer dresses. Instead, we are calling for an S&C solution — socks and clogs. Not only is the style classic, but it will also mask the shape and curvature of the ankle so as to keep them from from being ogled," said the statement.
However, days after not receiving a response from Vahle, protestors took to the streets. Ironically, everyone on the scene in Orlando — women included — wore clothing that exposed far more skin than necessary to eat, shit and shake hands. Some even wore slutty, slutty capris.
"It is not the same thing. I've got four kids — these ankles have seen better days, I'll tell you that," laughed Martha Ringle. "I'm almost never able to arouse my husband with my set anymore, but take him to see Sleeping Beauty's bony clankers and he wakes right up, if you know what I mean. It is very hard on our marriage."
So why would some men — who seem to enjoy the body part located between the foot and calf — want them hidden? Pools.
"When I'm at work, I'm at work. Being where we are, every other desk has a picture of some kid standing with a princess at Disney World," said Rick Techt, a father and husband of 30 years. "I'm trying to get an above ground pool installed by July and it's really hard for me to look busy when what I'm really doing is admiring Cinderella's supple talus."
With an official comment from Disney yet to be heard, the war is likely to continue raging outside of the resort. However, the weary soldiers are expected to rest and regroup in time for Starbucks cup season.
Photo courtesy of insidethemagic via CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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