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Writer's pictureMackenzie Moore

Chicken-induced heart attacks, NFL locker room privacy, and morally upstanding porn actors



Scientists at the University of Oxford have begun work which may lead to the first-ever ovarian cancer vaccine.


"Don't worry," clarified one lab member, "this will in not in any way interrupt our research into creating a pill for men who need help getting an erection at 3 p.m. on Tuesdays specifically."

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McDonald's will begin offering the Chicken Big Mac in the U.S. for a limited time starting Thursday. This comes after a successful run in the United Kingdom.


The new product includes two "tempura-style" chicken patties, a couple dollops of the classic Big Mac sauce, and zero will to live.

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A group of 17 porn actors have launched an election ad campaign in an effort to push back against the proposed Project 2025. The $100,000 project will appear in seven swing states, including Arizona and North Carolina.


You know the country is in a state of disrepair when porn stars push for proper ethics more than elected representatives.

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The NFL Players Association wants to ban reporters from the locker room due to rising concerns over invasion of privacy around the league. To this point, the NFL and Pro Football Writers of America have not budged.


"Just do what I did and send a picture of your junk to a reporter — it'll rip the band-aid off," said Hall of Famer Brett Favre.

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Lottery officials have announced a price increase from $2 to $5 to play the Mega Millions, a move intended to create more winners as well as more valuable prizes.


"I can justify $2, but $5 would just be bad financial planning," said one frequent lottery player.

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Idaho Sen. Dan Foreman's anger got the best of him during a bipartisan forum, responding to a question about discrimination by telling the inquirer, a Native American, to "go back where you came from."


The person targeted did so, immediately moving into Foreman's house.

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Photo courtesy of dph1110 via CC BY 2.0

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