top of page
Writer's pictureMackenzie Moore

Celine Dion, Flava Flav, and the Olympic blunt



Celine Dion delivered an all-time performance while closing out last Friday's Olympic opening ceremony, her first since being diagnosed with a rare neurological condition which significantly obstructed her ability to sing.


The stunning showing prompted the entire Canadian weightlifting team to drop out, as Dion has resumed carrying the whole country on her back.

-----------------

President Joe Biden has released a proposal to introduce term limits to the Supreme Court, a step long-awaited by millions of Americans as mistrust in the justice system grows.


Under his plan, a new judge would be selected to the Court every two years for an 18-year term. This way, judges may be more likely to go through the same phases as most babies born on their start date — initial confusion, getting their legs under them, then becoming more and more educated before ultimately realizing they need to get the hell out of there and go party in Arizona instead.

-----------------

Concerns about water quality in the Seine River have prompted Olympic triathlon training sessions to be called off for a second straight day, a major issue given that the men's event takes place tomorrow.


"The water's absolutely filthy. What's the problem?" asked French officials.

------------------

A Princess Leia bikini from the set of "Return of the Jedi" has sold at auction for $175,000.


However, the price is closer to a million after the cleaning fee.

------------------

HarperCollins is planning to reprint JD Vance's "Hillbilly Elegy" after the Ohio senator was named Trump's running mate for the 2024 election.


However, in an effort to keep up with demand as well as recognize the book's primary audience, most of the pages are expected to be blank.

-----------------

Snoop Dogg had the honor of carrying the Olympic torch prior to the opening ceremony.


Even better, this provided the opportunity for the rapper to light the first-ever Olympic blunt, which is expected to remain lit until he hands it off to Flavor Flav in the women's water polo pool.

-----------------


Photo courtesy of International Olympic Committee

コメント


bottom of page