Sen. John Fetterman said today "If those jagoffs in the House stop trying to shut our government down and fully support Ukraine, I will save democracy by wearing a suit on the Senate floor next week."
Wow — this is just like when Obama's tan suit causued COVID-19.
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Donald Trump Jr.'s X account was hacked this morning, leading to posts including "I'm sad to announce, my father Donald Trump has passed away. I will be running for president in 2024."
In other news, Melania is no longer allowed to use Trump Jr.'s phone under any circumstances.
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During an appearance in front of the House Judiciary Committee, Attorney General Merrick Garland told members that he's "not the president's lawyer."
He went on to say "but I am his masseur every other Wednesday after 3."
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A painting created by Bob Ross during the first episode of his show, The Joy of Painting, is being sold for $9.85 million.
Man — too bad there's no way to just paint it yourself.
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Kraft Heinz says it's recalling more than 83,000 cases of what they're calling "unpleasant" Kraft Singles.
This begs the question — what kind of Kraft Singles are considered pleasant?
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South Carolina has received death penalty drugs used for lethal injections and will resume executions for the first time in 12 years.
In other news, Lindsey Graham is avoiding going home.
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Photo courtesy of Governor Tom Wolf via CC BY 2.0
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