President Biden will be giving his third State of the Union address tonight, a tradition in which the sitting president typically presents their accomplishments, makes a case for what's being worked toward for the future, and gives hope to Americans.
But in a time when the United States is becoming increasingly divided as people question Biden's mental capabilities as well as those of his opponent in the upcoming presidential election, he will attempt to prove people wrong while talking about something known to have brought millions together. Beginning at 8 p.m. CST, the commander in chief will give a rundown of the entire "The Lord of the Rings" series.
"If anyone has any questions about infrastructure, foreign policy, or job creation, let's get into it, Jack," said Biden. "But when you see me switch from my morning vanilla ice cream cone to my post-dinner mint chocolate chip, I'll only be taking questions about Frodo, Legolas, Gollum, and my main man Gandalf."
The 81-year-old says he plans to go over the extended editions of the three movies, meaning Biden will have roughly 60 minutes to summarize 12 hours of screen time.
"I would never — and you've gotta hear me here — even think of telling this great story to the American people without fulfilling the complete vision of Peter Jackson. My job, above all, is to be a reliable figure of truth. To leave out even one detail would be a stain on my record, as it should be," said Biden.
In preparation, the president has watched all of the movies through several times and practiced impressions of each character. However, he didn't skip out on the job and head to a movie theater — he sauntered on over to the Situation Room.
"This room has seen some of the most tense moments in this nation's history. It only makes sense to watch Frodo carry out his noble mission in the same room where we learned Osama bin Laden had been assassinated over a decade ago in 2011," notes Biden.
While many may criticize the president for his use of this year's State of the Union address, the plot of the series is fitting.
"Frodo is just a little guy who inherits a ring — the One Ring. This thing can destroy the entire world. Then, get this malarkey, the reawakened evil of Sauron starts going after it, so Frodo and his buddies have to find a way to destroy it before it's too late," explained Biden.
Ultimately, it seems the message to be spread is one of hope and encouragement in the face of great destruction and a maliciousness.
Additionally, the president is expected to go on a long tangent about how Gandalf is a "cool guy," but that Biden "could give him a beatdown in a game of hoops."
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Photo courtesy of the White House via public domain
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