The first debate between the 2024 presidential race’s two major candidates will be live on CNN this Thursday, June 27. It has already been revealed that President Biden chose the podium on the right side of the stage after winning a coin flip, a move that gives Trump the last word in exchange for the incumbent being viewed at a presumably less Crypt Keeper-esque angle.
Now, Biden is rumored to be taking his visual tactics a step further — he'll attempt to win over Trump voters by wearing a Ronald Reagan mask for the entirety of the event.
"Well, it was a simple choice — if you wanna be adored like the man, you’ve gotta look like the man, muchacho!” stated the 46th president of the United States with a look in his eye akin to an elderly dog on pain medication.
Biden's campaign reportedly scoured the Atlanta area for Halloween stores, a difficult task in the month of June. Yet, salvation came in the form of a Party City on Peachtree Road.
"We tested several options. Nixon is a classic, but he already has the same 'convicted of major crimes' schtick, so that was out pretty quickly," explained campaign worker Stacy Bloite. "A Michael Myers mask was a strong contender, but his weapon of choice is a knife, which could've been an issue for staunch pro-gun voters."
Ultimately, it only made sense to land on the latex face of a B-list actor from the liberal cesspool of Los Angeles.
"Reagan may be the biggest conservative figurehead in this country's history, but we often forget that he was really on his way to becoming something," posed film critic Leonard Maltin. "While many Trump voters may look at the mask and think of the politician, he also took part in revolutionary work such as 'Brother Rat' and 'Bedtime for Bunzo.'"
The American people can only wait and see how Thursday's antics may impact the outcome of the election — if at all. But if one thing's for sure, it's probably that Biden's going to try to pair the look with an impression no matter how many times he's advised against it.
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Photo courtesy of DaltonKat2 via CC BY-SA 2.0
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