The first debate of the 2024 presidential campaign between Donald Trump and Joe Biden made waves around the world last night, with many noting the prior president's time-honored lack of interest in facts as well as how the current man on the job displayed the zest of a hollow orange.
While the former is a trademark for Trump, the latter is worrisome for the future of Biden's campaign as concerns over his ability to properly serve the office rise.
Now, an explanation. The president announced that he was not lethargic because of his age or poor health, but due to high-intensity Ironman training.
"I can admit it, I mucked up a bit," acknowledged Biden. "Thursdays are always my long run days, but I didn't consider my schedule towards the end of training. By the time I got my 90-mile ride in and finished it up with a quick half-marathon run, it was time to get to the stage!"
The 81-year-old does not believe this will be an issue for the next debate, which takes place on September 10.
"The next debate is on a Tuesday. That's my rest day, so I'll be good to go, Joe!" explained the president while pointing his thumbs at himself with a slanted, stroke-reminiscent grin.
Though unconfirmed for security reasons, it's likely that the longtime Delaware resident will be participating in the Ironman Triathlon taking place in Maryland on September 21. If so, this would provide plenty of opportunity to get his energy back up before November's election.
"Once I'm done with this, I think I'll run an ultramarathon. Maybe start with the 50k and see if I can make my way up to 100 by the time I'm 83. The presidency always needs to come first, but that's what I call a non-issue — I'll just get my briefings while the intelligence folks run alongside me," assured Biden.
The clear and reasonable explanation is certain to do wonders for President Biden's polling numbers, as many voters have incorrectly assumed that he is not, in fact, in the best shape of his life. However, Trump is projected to claim that he was already asked to join the U.S. Olympic team for 2028, but turned it down to avoid "liberal cesspool Los Angeles."
For now, the American people are stuck in a game of wait-and-see.
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Photo courtesy of the White House via public domain
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