Few forces of nature can be as invalidating as the weather. While dark, gloomy days make big smiles feel out of place, bright, sunny days have the opposite effect — being sad almost feels rude. After all, the sun must've put a lot of effort into rising up early and getting tons of million-pound clouds the hell out of the way.
Clear skies and warm weather have struck Port Washington, WI. By late morning, there had already been numerous complaints of difficulty wallowing and, as a result, individuals being forced to keep their chins up and look on the sunny side.
"I work six days per week — Mondays are the only day where I can even think about scheduling a good cry. I had today circled on my calendar and everything," said resident David Leek. "Then this morning, I gently woke up to birds chirping and the sunlight grazing my eyes. Had to go have coffee on my porch and take it all in. Absolute bullshit."
Leek isn't alone in his disappointment. Some, like mother of two Leah Reese, have found themselves scrambling to make the most of the inconveniently perfect summer weather.
"My kids are staying with their grandparents for a few days. As much as I love them, I've been ready for some 'me time' — you know, keeping all of the lights off, thinking about all of reasons I should feel ashamed of myself and exclusively eating canned soup," explained Reese.
Unfortunately, Reese's plans were abruptly destroyed when she did the same thing millions of Americans do nearly every single day — walk outside to pick up the mail.
"Opened up the front door and right away, I couldn't help but notice how beautifully the water in my pond was glistening. I put on sunscreen, got out a chair and a nice book, and just basked. Made myself a nice sandwich for lunch. It felt so wrong. Not what I wanted out of the day at all," said Reese.
With much of the day still to go and a similar week ahead, wallowers in thousands of U.S. towns are now being forced to go with the flow. Or, for the particularly bold, defy the odds by wallowing in a picturesque park surrounded by, in all likelihood, dozens of God's creatures. In any case, good luck and be well.
Photo courtesy of Yinan Chen via Creative Commons
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