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The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
News
Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore
Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore
Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore
Tonight's 'real debate,' Olympic doping, and bread roulette
The Desk 6/27/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 27, 20242 min read
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Athletic raccoons, mercury poisoning, and Harrison Butker
The Desk 5/16/24
Mackenzie Moore
May 16, 20242 min read
20 views
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Punxsutawney Phil, Elmo, and the CIA
Punxsutawney Phil didn't see his shadow today, clearly predicting an early spring. Given the groundhog's batting average, meteorologists...
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 2, 20242 min read
11 views
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Twitter to release feature allowing users to delete other people's tweets
However, users will not be able to delete tweets "just because they're threatening, offensive or the best of both worlds," said Musk.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 27, 20232 min read
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