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The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
News
Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore
Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore
Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore
Report: Vladimir Putin traveling across United States with suitcase full of disguises in effort to vote illegally throughout country
"I love peaches, don't you? I mean, wow. So fuzzy. Can I borrow your name and address?" said Putin to a voter waiting behind him in Georgia.
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 5, 20242 min read
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New York earthquake, Alabama police, and Conan
The Desk 4/5/24
Mackenzie Moore
Apr 5, 20241 min read
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