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The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
News
Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore
Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore
Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore
Raw milk devotees gather to eat uncooked chicken, ‘stick it to the man’
"I dare anyone to come and take it," said Dan Allen, referring to the raw chicken tightly gripped in his hand for who knows how long.
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 5, 20242 min read
6 views
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Tonight's 'real debate,' Olympic doping, and bread roulette
The Desk 6/27/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 27, 20242 min read
12 views
0 comments
Mummified beachgoers, evicted ships, and the Detroit Pistons
The Desk 6/20/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 20, 20242 min read
12 views
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Athletic raccoons, mercury poisoning, and Harrison Butker
The Desk 5/16/24
Mackenzie Moore
May 16, 20242 min read
20 views
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RFK Jr.: 'The presidency should go to whoever can eat the most worms'
"I say we find a playground on a rainy morning, scoop some worms into a bucket, and find out who the real top dog is," said RFK Jr.
Mackenzie Moore
May 9, 20242 min read
4 views
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RFK Jr., Forbes billionaires, and avian mass suicide
Former President Donald Trump slammed Forbes yesterday after he failed to make the magazine’s top 400 billionaires list. He did, however,...
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 10, 20232 min read
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