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Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore

Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore


Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore


Jimmy Carter attributes reaching 100 to 'guts, peanuts, and plenty of smut'
"I'd go and trade those peanuts in for a nudie mag down at the five and dime," reminisced the former president.
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 1, 20242 min read
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Jason Kelce retires, immediately throws all clothing in bonfire
The Super Bowl champion notably did not set any of his underwear ablaze, most likely because he did not own any to begin with.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 4, 20242 min read
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Report: Philadelphia Eagles considered putting Gritty in during final play of Super Bowl LVII
"Yes, there were only a few seconds left in the entire game, but plenty of men have been murdered in far less time," noted Coach Sirianni.
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 13, 20233 min read
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