top of page
The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
News
Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore
Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore
Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 2, 20242 min read
11 views
0 comments
Mummified beachgoers, evicted ships, and the Detroit Pistons
The Desk 6/20/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 20, 20242 min read
12 views
0 comments
Source: Bronny James 'likely' to be drafted by dads on community rec center team
"After winning state in '96, I was like a king at school. Now, I can't even get a hug from my daughter's choir teacher," scoffed Brierson.
Mackenzie Moore
May 29, 20242 min read
6 views
0 comments
NBA to begin awarding four points for tackling
"This is completely wrong. I'm being targeted," said currently injured 76ers star Joel Embiid.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 14, 20242 min read
9 views
0 comments
Draymond Green to receive anger management training from tantrum-prone toddler
4-year-old counselor Levi Anders was recently suspended from Sunnyside Daycare until he stops punching kids for knowing how to count.
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 15, 20232 min read
33 views
0 comments
bottom of page