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The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
News
Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore
Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore
Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore
Cyber Monday, steamed hotdish, and airdropping turkeys
The Desk 12/2/24
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 2, 20242 min read
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Gov. Tim Walz caught red-handed coping with Election Day stress by cooking entire potluck dinner at 1 a.m.
"This is what I do, Gwen. Now you can help me shred this block of cheddar or you can go back to bed," said Walz to his concerned wife.
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 5, 20242 min read
10 views
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Vacation fund primarily for coffee, 'little treats'
"I haven't had a vacation in years, but have you ever had a cake pop?" said Winona, Minnesota P.E. teacher Eric Wilcox.
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 4, 20232 min read
30 views
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