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Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore

Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore


Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore


Confirmation hearings, Mr. Baseball, and Conan's quaff
The Desk 1/16/25
Mackenzie Moore
Jan 162 min read
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Cyber Monday, steamed hotdish, and airdropping turkeys
The Desk 12/2/24
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 2, 20242 min read
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The Desk: Election Day 2024 edition
The Desk 11/5/24
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 5, 20242 min read
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Trump doubles down on debate: 'Having a plan is for nerds, losers'
"Having a plan without being elected president first? That's like knowing how to run a business before being named CEO," said Trump.
Mackenzie Moore
Sep 11, 20242 min read
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JD Vance on birth control policies: 'I'm a staunch supporter of the pull out couch method'
"Fact is, who needs condoms or pills when you could just get some latex gloves and make a quick stop at IKEA?" said Trump's running mate.
Mackenzie Moore
Aug 7, 20242 min read
13 views
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Walz returning to education as middle school lunchroom monitor in preparation for potential vice presidential debate
The newly-announced VP pick says he'd like to get used to debating those who are "cranky and unreasonable" due to underdeveloped brains.
Mackenzie Moore
Aug 6, 20242 min read
9 views
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Celine Dion, Flava Flav, and the Olympic blunt
The Desk 7/29/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 29, 20242 min read
13 views
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Kamala Harris, Slim Shady, and rolling out of moving taxis
The Desk 7/23/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 23, 20242 min read
8 views
0 comments


Vance named Trump's running mate after job turned down by Hamburglar
"Dense Pence promised to steal Big Macs for me, but he gave up trying after failing at only 10 separate franchises. Coward," said Trump.
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 15, 20242 min read
11 views
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