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The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
News
Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore
Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore
Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore
Mike Tyson, State of the Union address, and aliens
The Desk 3/8/24
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 8, 20242 min read
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George Santos 'looking forward' to going back to old life as astronaut, surgeon
Note: This interview has been thoroughly fact checked.
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 20, 20233 min read
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RFK Jr., Forbes billionaires, and avian mass suicide
Former President Donald Trump slammed Forbes yesterday after he failed to make the magazine’s top 400 billionaires list. He did, however,...
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 10, 20232 min read
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United States government to crack down on school shootings by banning schools
“There have been over 360 school shootings since Columbine, and believe me when I say that I now find this unacceptable,” said Sen. Cruz.
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 16, 20233 min read
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