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The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
News
Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States
“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.
Mackenzie Moore
Shein April Fools’ prank just photoshopped image of happy, healthy adult factory workers
“I’m energized and excited to spend my entire career at Shein, which I began working for at an appropriately mature age," said the caption.
Mackenzie Moore
Sober on St. Patty’s: Other festive ways to end up vomiting on the street
Four alcohol-free ways to still end up vomiting on the street with the rest of the hooligans.
Mackenzie Moore
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 2, 20242 min read
11 views
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Tourists, rat holes, and blobfish Weinstein
The Desk 4/25/24
Mackenzie Moore
Apr 25, 20242 min read
6 views
0 comments
Middle schooler unimpressed with quality of liquor in teacher's coffee
Does a child have wildly extravagant taste, or does Schubert simply buy bottom shelf booze?
The answer: both.
Mackenzie Moore
Sep 14, 20232 min read
19 views
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Surgeon receives OWI after cracking beers in operating room
"I mean come on — I'm not driving a car, I'm doing brain surgery. It's not rocket science," said Dr. Fowley.
Mackenzie Moore
Apr 24, 20233 min read
197 views
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