Jimmy Carter looking forward to spending birthday with 'most beloved' family and friends after being gifted Ouija board
News
Jimmy Carter attributes reaching 100 to 'guts, peanuts, and plenty of smut'
Times Square Elmo 'seriously' weighing potential mayoral run following Eric Adams indictment
Wendy’s CEO salary reduced to 10 cents due to low market demand
Wine with strong notes of manure, rotten fish wins top prize
Biden returns to Oval Office for first time since killing, eating man
Report: 78% of heart-shaped pizzas eaten alone in dark
Historical records show Jesus had $300 million annual marketing budget
Increased police presence on Sesame Street due to bomb threat
Study finds strong correlation between eating can of soup in two separate servings and being a psychopath
Solo cups to be $20 each in effort to compete with Stanley
Ron DeSantis spending newfound free time practicing human smile in bathroom mirror
Joe Gow to replace Jay Rothman as president of Universities of Wisconsin: 'Wisconsin education needs an attentive lover'
Giuliani sells decades-old prized dead bug collection after filing for bankruptcy following defamation suit
Starbucks to combat 'war on Christmas' complaints with new fetus flavor
Comprehensive list of people worse off following death of Henry Kissinger
Ron Johnson on not speaking up about Madison Nazi march: 'I want to be reelected'
George Santos 'looking forward' to going back to old life as astronaut, surgeon
Trump explains why he valued old, rotting treehouse at $100 million
Trump forced to sell beloved golden toilet in order to pay legal fees
Taylor Swift elected Speaker of the House
'Mein Kampf' to be only book allowed in school libraries
Teachers unions to strike unless given right to smack one kid per quarter